A paradigm is something like a road map that we use for our life. And every person on the planet currently has its own paradigm, that they are currently operating from.
And like everybody else. We tend to assume that the paradigm that we are currently using is up to date. But what if it’s not? What if it’s actually totally out of date.
And no longer relevant to the world, that we are living in. This is when you become the guy who always finishes last. The paradigm that we use to navigate the world functions, at an unconscious level.
Yet somehow it manages to control pretty much every aspect, of how we react to most things in life. In other words, our paradigm is like a filter for our life, and if certain data that we receive does not fit our paradigm.
It is discarded or screened out never getting a chance to reach our conscious mind. However information that does fit our paradigm, that information is actually magnified and amplifies with our brain. Our paradigm is our current set of beliefs.
And any information that fits our beliefs is enhanced, while information that does not fit our current beliefs. Is simply filtered out. Now the paradigm that you currently hold is like a map.
And if it’s wrong you will never get to where it is that you want to go. Some many people right now see the world through the paradigm of trading time for money. And they can never figure out why they never have any money.
Something the world that they live in. Something their bosses fault it’s simply their paradigm. And guys who have trouble with females are simply using the wrong map.
Or they are running off of the wrong paradigm. Imagine if your G.P.S told you to make a u-turn, and then make another u-turn and so on and so forth. Until you finally realized hours later that you were driving in an endless loop.
That’s Google Maps for you. But on a serious note, your paradigm is your map. And if your map is wrong, then you’re not going to get where it is that you want to go. But once you change your paradigm. Everything changes because all of a sudden you have the right map.
Now the problem for most of us. Is that the paradigms that we’re operating off are so incredibly outdated. That it’s not even funny. It’s like trying to explain to your grandparents. How a computer works?
So many of us are operating on outdated paradigms. And then we sit and we wonder why we aren’t getting the result. That we know we deserve. And to us what we’re doing makes perfect sense because we are operating off of beliefs that we’ve held since pretty much childhood.
But to other people. They’re wondering what is wrong with us. Because they are operating from completely different paradigms. Now here’s where it gets interesting, the paradigm or the belief system that most of us are operating from was created when we were super young.
When we were powerless. When we were naive or when we were too young to do anything about it. Imagine if somebody put a little chip inside of your brain. When you were really young.
And you had no idea, that it was even there. And imagine if that little chip had enough power to control pretty much everything that you do on a daily basis at an unconscious level without you ever even knowing about it.
You would most likely want to know what kind of program was on that chip. And the problem with most people is that they don’t even know that it’s there.
And so they keep operating from the same outdated chip or an ineffective paradigm that is no longer relevant. In many cases, the instructions on the chip were never even right, to begin with.
And it’s one particular paradigm, that creates the one type of man who always finishes last. And when I say last, I’m mostly talking about his results with females. But the same exact paradigm can cause you to come in last in many other aspects of your life.
And the instructions for this paradigm state that if you please, other people, enough they will like you. And you will get what you want from them. So many guys are currently living their life off this paradigm and when it doesn’t work.
Like a mouse on a wheel, they simply try harder and harder until they end up. Running so fast that the wheel starts spinning them upside down. In many situations in life, when things aren’t going our way or you’re not getting to where you want to be.
The answer is not to try harder. But simply to change your paradigm. At the core of the paradigm that makes guys finish last is something called approval.
One of the most common behaviors created by this faulty paradigm. Is changing your position on something the moment that another person, usually a female disapproves of it.
In the real world, this might play out with you saying that you like football. And then a girl saying that she doesn’t like football and then you changing your position and saying that you don’t really like it either.
Right afterward in life people are going to challenge you. This is especially true if you are in a position of power or if you have a lot to lose. And if you have a faulty paradigm you’re going to be the guy who backs down from his position when challenged.
And at the core of this behavior, is the seeking of approval in life. People disagree on things all the time. And what separates the man who finishes first from the man who finishes last.
Is what you do when you disagree with somebody else. Or what you do on the position on something is challenged. In most horror movies you have the really dumb guy who suggests that they should all hide in the most obvious location where the bad guy is obviously going to find them easily.
When the whole group agrees, and nobody challenges this suggestion you already know what happens next. So to change your paradigm, don’t change your position or your opinion just to gain the approval of other people.
Or to make them happy. The second part of this faulty paradigm is doing something because you are afraid to say no. When girls test you they’re going to do things like try to get you to do something that they know you don’t want to do.
And on the surface, it seems pretty harmless. But what is really going on is that you are being tested to see if you will disrespect yourself. In order to gain their approval.
All the time, we asked to do things that we don’t want to do. And we do them simply because we are too afraid to say no to the other person. It seems so harmless on the surface, but when we repeatedly do things that we don’t want to do because we are afraid to say no.
What we are doing is showing that we are in desperate need of approval. Or that we desperately need that person to like us. And with an up-to-date effective paradigm, this simply wouldn’t happen.
One of the best ways to avoid approval-seeking behavior that is created by a faulty paradigm is to learn how to say no. The reason saying no is so hard for people with the faulty paradigm is because it creates conflict.
Really, really nice guys avoid conflict at all costs. But the right kind of conflicts like the kind that comes from standing up for your beliefs and values. Makes you stronger and helps you to change your paradigm.
I’ve saved the best and most important point for last and this one truly has the potential to shift your entire paradigm from the faulty outdated one to one.
That will guide you or show you where you need to go. And it’s so simple yet so incredibly powerful. The most faulty part of this broken paradigm or belief system that so many guys currently hold.
Is thinking that you always have to be nice to everyone all the time. No matter what? and the truth is you don’t have to be nice all the time. And this something that we all struggle with pretty much every moment of every day.
Because we all want people to like us. Getting rejected by other people or realizing that other people just don’t like us. Doesn’t feel very good. And whenever we are not overly nice to people there is a much greater risk that we will be rejected or disliked by those people.
But that is a risk that we have or want to take. The most powerful thing that you can do to shift your current paradigm from the one. That makes you finish last to one that makes you finish first is to stop seeking approval from other people.
And I’ve said this many times before. But it‘s so important that it needs to be repeated and what this looks like in the real world. Involves making your needs a priority over making other people happy.
It means learning how to give without expecting anything in return. Whether it’s an actual physical gift or just a compliment. It means not being afraid of conflict or not being afraid to rock the boat it means not putting other people on a pedestal or viewing them as having greater value than your own.
It means agreeing to disagree. And it also means holding strong in your opinion or position about something regardless of what other people think about it. And by doing this thing, you can begin to shift your paradigm and by changing your paradigm you can change your life.
