So something that we’re all striving for as men are to become more valuable. Or to increase our value in the eyes of other people.
And what you’re about to learn is something that completely changed, my life personally. As soon as I understood how it actually works.
Now every single one of you watching right now has formed a collective memory of various experiences that you’ve had throughout your life. And it is your personal history your parents, your culture, all sorts of other things.
And all these things play a huge role in shaping the person that you end up turning into. And all these various experiences that you’ve had in the past.
Are basically what makes up your reality or some would call it a world view. And so whenever some new event happens to us in your life. What we do is we reference that event against other events that have taken place in your life prior.
And the effects that this reference point has on how we respond to that event, can have a massive impact on what eventually happens and how we handle that event whether for good or for worse.
So what this means is that you can have the same exact event that is witnessed by two different people. And even though the event is exactly the same in reality. Each man sees the event in a different way.
Based on the past experiences that they have had in their life. So in other words their past experiences serve almost as a filter for their reality.
And these experiences determine how they view things. And so something you have to understand is that when something is outside of your reality or outside of your reference point.
It becomes pretty much impossible for that thing to ever actually come into your life. So what this actually means is that if you’re the type of guy that could never, picture himself making a hundred thousand dollars a year.
It is very unlikely that this thing will ever happen to you. Or it is very unlikely that this thing will ever come into your own personal reality. What this means is that we have a lot of trouble, imagining something really awesome coming into our lives.
If we have no reference points of anything like that before. So for example, if you’ve never had any sort of experience with a really attractive girl.
Then most likely it’s really difficult for you to imagine that type of girl to come into your life. Or to want to have anything to do with you. And the reason why is because based on your reference points, that you have or your personal past experiences.
There’s nothing there to indicate that an attractive girl would even want to have anything to do with you. And so until you have reference points or until you have past experiences that allow you to even imagine something like that coming into your life.
That thing will most likely never happen. It’s like if you’ve only ever made 15 or 20,000 dollars a year. You can’t even imagine most likely right now, what it’s like to make a hundred thousand dollars a year.
Or half a million dollars a year or a million dollars a year. And because you have no reference points or no past experiences to allow these things to even come into your reality.
You’re most likely not going to be able to take these steps or the actions you need to achieve or acquire those things. Another way to think about this is something called limiting beliefs.
So many of us go through life missing out on all kinds of opportunities. Simply because these opportunities at the time were completely outside of our reality. Of what could be possible, so in other words, we didn’t think these things were possible.
So they never actually came into reality for us. Or they never actually happened. If right now you don’t think you can date a really attractive girl. Then guess what you’re not gonna be able to date a really attractive girl.
If right now you, don’t think you can make a hundred thousand dollars per year. Then guess what you’re not gone make a hundred thousand dollars per year. Because these things are outside of what you believe to possible.
That we say that you first have to believe it before you can achieve it. And it sounds so simple but it’s an extremely powerful way of thinking about things.
I remember there’s a point in time in my life. Where I really truly believed that I was not attractive. And I really thought that I was actually pretty ugly. Based on various past experiences that I’ve had.
And how those things have shaped my reality growing up. And it did take a while, but over time I finally realized that most of these beliefs that I had. Of not just about myself.
But about things that I was capable of or things that were possible for me. Were actually completely false. All these beliefs that I had about being not very good looking and all these other things.
They all were nothing more than limiting beliefs that were holding me back from opportunities. That we're constantly around me. Back when I was making 1500 dollars a month.
I couldn’t even imagine, what it would feel like to make 10 or 15 or even 20,000 dollars a month. And these things were just so completely outside of my reality. That I just could not take advantage of any opportunities that came my way.
Even if they were right in front of my face. So what exactly can you do to become a more valuable man and to essentially increase your reality.
Or increase what you believe to be possible. The number one thing that holds most of us back, whether it’s talking to girls that we like or achieving any other great thing.
That we know we should be able to do. We’re just too scared or don’t think it’s possible. The number one thing that holds all of us back is a lack of experience. And essentially what this means is that we have no reference points to tell us.
That certain thing is even possible. Now, this is kind of a hard pill to swallow. But if the only girls that you’ve ever had experience within your life. Have been not the best-looking.
Then you have basically no experiences in your past. That will serve as reference points to tell you that you can interact with attractive girls.
And without these reference points. It’s almost impossible for you to even imagine what it’s like to interact with attractive girls or to have them give you attention.
And all the stuff that you would want from women. So what happens over time in our life, we have various things or experiences that occur. And these events completely blow our reality wide open or what we thought was possible.
And what they do is they broaden our view of what is actually possible. And over time as our view of what is possible is slowly stretched wider and wider.
Things that we never thought we could achieve or obtain. Slowly start to come into our lives and our lives begin to improve dramatically along with our value as men.
I remember one of these events for me at the time felt like it was something that kind of just happened. But what I didn’t realize was that it was actually the result of something that I had done.
Which was facing one of my fears. And in facing one of my fears. I ended up having an interaction with this. Really attractive girl that at the time. I could have never even imagined, that she would have anything to do with me.
Because that’s just how my brain thought at the time. And during this extremely flirtatious interaction. A lot of really awesome things happened. It was that one experience alone that completely blew my reality wide open.
And showed me that, all these things that I thought were impossible. Were actually very possible, and that one experience has served as an extremely powerful reference point.
For pretty much the entire rest of my life. So whatever I have a moment and those limiting beliefs start to creep back into my head and tell me that I’m not good enough.
I look back at that experience and it tells me. That yes, I am good enough. Yes, this is possible and then things inevitably end up working out really well for me.
So here’s another really easy way to understand. This our views of what we are entitled to or what is possible are measured in direct relation to what we have previously experienced in our lives.
So like the example mentioned before. If you’re someone who’s only making twenty thousand dollars per year. That’s the only reference point you have, in terms of how much money it’s actually possible to make.
So if you’ve only ever made twenty thousand dollars per month. And you go to take on a new job or something else. That’s going to bring income for you.
The only reference point that you have is for those twenty thousand dollars per year. So your entitlement or what you think you deserve is probably going to be right around the twenty thousand dollar mark.
Now you might very well be worth a hundred thousand dollars per year. And you just don’t know that. And because of the fact that you believe that you are only entitled to twenty thousand dollars per year.
Because that’s the only reference point that you have in your past experiences. What most likely happens is that opportunities will present themselves for you to make roughly twenty thousand dollars per year.
And so what you have to do is you have to blow your reality wide open. You have to absolutely crush these old limiting beliefs of what you think is possible. In exchange for the reality or what’s really possible.
So many guys right now are so thirsty. They’re so desperate for a girlfriend. That they will accept pretty much any attention from any girl. Just because of the fact that they have low self-esteem.
And they have no reference points to tell them. That they are capable of something better. Another example if you’re a guy who has a lot of friends who constantly mistreat you.
Thin your past experiences or your reference points are going to tell you that you’re that guy that deserves to be treated like that. And so when you go into future relationships. You’re most likely going to invite that type of thing into your reality.
But as you gain experience. And you begin to gain more control over your frame of mind. You will be able to attract greater and greater things into your reality.
That you never thought that you could get before. It’s like if you’re always driving super fancy cars. Eventually, you get used to driving super fancy cars and you begin to expect that as something that comes naturally in your life.
So what you have to realize is that, the environment that you’re in right now. And the people that you interact with and all the other experiences that you have.
These are things that will shape you as a person and will shape your frame of what you think is possible. What you have to understand is that things that you think are not possible.
Most likely will never be possible until you believe that they’re possible. And you can’t believe that they’re possible until you have some past experiences or reference points that you have developed.
That tells you, even a little bit that those things are possible. Back when I made a thousand dollars in one day. That one single event served as a reference point to tell me that not only was it possible to make a hundred thousand dollars per year.
But it’s actually possible to make a million dollars or even more per year. And the same is true for the way that you think about females. The way that you think about everything else in life.
As men all of us. Were born to achieve great things. And we all have a special gift inside of us that is just waiting to get out. And the only way that we can truly share our gift with the world.
And dramatically increase our value is to expand our frame of reality or to expand our view of what is possible. The best way to do this is obviously by taking risks basing our fears and building those all-important reference points.
That will completely blow our reality wide open and show us. That things that we previously thought were impossible are actually possible. And simply knowing and acting on this can make you far more valuable than you ever thought possible.
