Our faces can give out a thousand expressions it seems. Not only me, but all of you also have the capability to bring out many emotions.
These expressions are doormats that enable us to decide
whether to have a conversation with someone or not.
A lot of people tend to look at facial expressions before
deciding whether to approach a person for a conversation or not.
The most important reason for 85 percent of the success in our
lives is communication. But our communication is often influenced by body
language, the language that we speak, etc.
If communication is the main reason for 85 percent of our
success. The book “How to Talk to Anyone” by Leil Lowndes explains how we can talk to people.
Suppose there are a lot of people at a party or in a particular
room. You are talking to someone, but a person interrupts.
Imagine that the person is your potential client or if it’s
someone you like and would love to have a conversation with.
The attention that you give to them will decide whether the
conversation is going to end immediately or whether the conversation will
continue.
The right example for this is a kid. What will we do if a kid
interrupts while we are talking? We will leave everything else and focus on the
kid, right?
To make a person who is coming to talk to us feel special. We have
to turn our full-body towards them.
Instead of turning your head to greet them. If you turn your
body as a whole and greet them. And if your full body faces the person.
They will feel special. All of this happens subconsciously. You
haven’t greeted them yet. But, this baby’s pivot strategy effectively conveys
that the other person is important to us.
Sometimes we might not know whether we like the person who
mingles with us often. But, if we are going to meet someone for the first time.
We might be doubtful as to whether we like the person or not. We
might be doubtful whether that person likes us or not.
We are asked to use this Pre-visualization strategy in this
scenario. Before meeting that person.
If you are able to fool your mind and convince yourself that
the person is your old friend and that you like the person.
Then your body language will change accordingly. Once you are
able to convince your mind that you know the person.
Your body will listen to you and start creating positive
vibes. And if you start pretending to like a person, you might end up liking
that person eventually.
Our brain will start listening to us. We often hear that
people with smiling faces are loved by all. Having a smiling face is not a bad
thing, but if you smile at everyone.
The person whom you are talking to might not have a special
attraction towards it. So, if someone smiles at us, we have to take a pause before
we smile back at them.
If I am looking around before smiling at you. When I smile it
should feel special for the other person.
Have a smiling face. But, take some time before you smile. Don’t
smile at everyone. All of this holds true with regard to business.
But, if it’s a marriage or some other function, it is good to
have a smiling face. Another important thing is if you keep smiling. Then people
won’t approach you.
Give a slow and credible smile to the person you want to
approach you. On the other hand, if someone asks about the place where you are
from.
Then the first question should be who is the person asking me?
If the person is a college student. Then
you have to talk about the special features of your place which might interest
the person.
Before telling the name of the place. If the person is a doctor,
then you can talk about famous hospitals in your place. When you do that. The doctor
will feel happy.
If a college student asks this. You can talk about famous
spots near your place and tell them the distance from the spot to your house.
Give further details about your area. When a person asks
such questions, it will be easier to start a conversation and ask further
questions.
If we find it very difficult to start a conversation. When you
go to a meeting, a party, or a place where there are a group of people.
If there is something unique about you, people will walk up to
you and talk about it. So, it is better to wear unique attire.
A person I know used to wear a shell around his neck. Me,
people always ask about my tattoo. Even a small unique thing about you will
serve as a good conversation starter.
Another important thing, when the other person does not get
the opportunity to talk, they will not have a conversation with us.
So, they need a space to share something. If you let the other
person speak without interrupting them, then you will always be in their good
books.
If you look back at the conversation after the person leaves,
you will realize that you haven’t done anything special.
You would have patiently listened to what they were speaking. That
is said to be one of the best strategies. If you are someone who talks less.
Just listen to what the other person is talking about. When the
other person is talking, we can’t be idle. So, we can just use the parroting technique
to repeat what they are saying and answer in the affirmative.
This is all about repeating what the other person is saying. When
we repeat, the other person will start explaining more about the topic.
They will feel good about the conversation, and you will also
feel good for being able to answer them.
Another
important strategy is if you want a conversation to develop beyond the usual Hi
and hello. Then there should be something for us to talk about.
Beyond
the usual dressing up and being presentable. Our attire should actually help further the conversation.
Read a newspaper or check out Social media. Once you get an idea about the latest
happenings around you. If the person you are going to meet belongs to a particular
field or profession.
Suppose
a protest is happening connected to the profession if you ask about the
protest. They will feel happy that you are actually concerned about the
difficulties in their field.
And
open up to you. In one of the shops, the owner has told the saleswomen in his
shop. The talk about the product should be only 40 percent, the other 60
percent should be about happenings around the world.
If
the person who knows so much is selling this shoe. Then the shoe must
definitely be a good one. That is the belief of the customer.
Such
conversations are said to be very vital. Just like how a Cute girl says Thank
you when she is complimented in a moment or in your life.
When
someone compliments us, we don’t know how to react. We just say thank you. But,
it is said that a mere thank you is not enough.
Follow
up the thank you with details of why you are thanking a person. The other
person will take it as a return compliment.
For
example, if someone is complimenting your dress. You can thank them for
noticing and tell them that you like the dress. And tell the person that you
are glad about being noticed.
Then,
the other person will also feel happy for complimenting you. There is a common
mistake that I also commit.
When
someone compliments our dress by saying that it is nice. If we tend to be
dismissive and insult them.
This
implies that we are insulting the other person’s taste. So, don’t ever do that,
if someone compliments you. It means that they like something about that dress.
If
we dismiss their compliment, it will imply that the other person’s taste is not
good. So, fill your thank yours with more words.
In
the same way if someone compliments you accept it gracefully. Suppose you have
managed to mingle with a gang of people.
How
to fit in and gain the acceptance of the gang? If the members of the gang are
already friends and you are the new member.
Then
it will be difficult for you to mingle. Then the easiest option is to remove “I”
in a conversation and stress the “we” so that everyone feels included.
Sub-consciously
everyone will feel that they are part of the discussion. But, nowadays meetings
and gatherings are very less.
All
major conversations happen over the phone. We might not know whether the other
person is really paying attention to us over the phone.
When
we are talking over the phone, there are chances of the other person getting
diverted. So, it is better to use the other person’s name often.
Just
like how our pet dog notices us when we call out its name. In the same way, even
when we are diverted during a phone conversation.
When
our name is mentioned we get back to the conversation automatically. We can use
such strategies during a conversation. This book has 92 strategies in total. I couldn’t
explain all of them, I explained just 9 strategies I guess.
Many
small things which will help in a business setup are mentioned in this book.
